So for those of you who are interested in a position that pursues me, please note that on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at the unreasonable hour of 7am I have to go to Cardio Rehab, all because my aorta exploded a few months. back Cardio Rehab is basically regular cardio, but they have doctors around and they hook you up to sensors while you do it, and it’s in a special section of the hospital gym that I think has a big sign up top. for regular gym goers that say something like WARNING: AREA FULL OF GEEZERS YOU COULD DIEor something like that. Anyway, since I’m so sick of doing those Cold Starts the night before, I often try to think about what I want to write about while I’m there. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it ends up like today, where I have some silly car and other thoughts and decide to share them with you. How lucky!
The big car-related look that caught my eye was this early 2000s Jeep Grand Cherokee in the parking lot, locatedfairbehind a fire hydrant that reminded me of something. The position of the hydrant right in front of the headlight that we know are the eyes of the car, of course reminded me of something very specific. A periscope! The Grand Cherokee looks like a submarine commander, peering through a periscope, assessing conditions on the surface, lurking, waiting to surface!
You see it too, right? Look up again. Or should I repeat the image so you don’t have to scroll? Why not, those bytes are already pending in your cache as it is, after all:
Man, it looks like he’s looking through a periscope. Although I also noticed something else as I walked up to it, you can also read the round hydrant cover as an alternate headlight design, so if you’re curious what this generation of Grand Cherokee would have looked like with lights big and round, so big. The round hydrant cover gives you an idea, which I’ll duplicate on the other side:
Hmm, not bad! I left some red hydrant metal trim around the edges just for fun, but that’s not necessary. I also like the idea that Jeep sold a car so tough that it had manually removable cast iron headlight covers, like that. Anyway, customizers, take note!
Oh, one more thing about the car:
This was a car parked next to me, a relatively modern car. Look at all the scratches in the door handle area! This isextremely common, which makes me wonder why the car manufacturers haven’t given much crap to this issue? Some cars have little plastic inserts there to absorb damage from scratched fingers, but they rarely look that good.
Surely designers can accept that this is something that happens to cars and design some more elegant integrated solution that more gracefully deals with this kind of damage? This seems like a solvable problem and a worthy challenge.
OK, one last thing, not related to the car, although it does involve wheels and engines. It involves treadmills. So for this cardiovascular rehab topic, one part is on a treadmill. When I get on the treadmill, I like to imagine the worst possible disaster that can happen on the treadmill, but in a fun way.
I think the ideal way to get off the treadmill is this: I’d start with one of the therapists working there coming up to me as I’m starting on the treadmill and asking if I need help hooking up the safety doohickey or whatever, and maybe suggesting me. I start at an easy pace. I’d respond like an absolute moron, because that’s what it takes to make the soon-to-be disaster really satisfying, snidely saying something likeum i think i know what i’m doing thanksbut in a really idiot way
Then, and I think this is key, I would set everything too highbeforeby pressing the start button. I’m not even sure that’s possible on the treadmill, but I think that’s what I’d want it to work well. Do a great demonstration of setting a high speed and then press START.
Immediately upon starting, it would throw me back off the treadmill at fantastic speed. Wooooosh!
Ideally, my little white headphones would extend and spin in the air where my head was before falling to the ground. Within seconds there would be a colossal SMACK sound, and everyone would turn to face the large glass wall that separates Cardio Rehab from the normal people’s areas of the gym. I’m not even sure the wall exists, but I wish it did because of that.
I’d be on the glass like one of those rubber octopus toys that dentists give kids, sticky rubbery things that you throw at the walls and slowly sink. In my case, I slowly slid down the glass, accompanied by some loud noises, my face slammed into the glass, and finally fell the last three feet or so to sink, hard, into a heap at the base of the wall. .
People in the gym would have been watching this, in silence, and once it hit the floor, after a pause, they would all turn around, turn the music back on, and ignore the panting heap on the gym floor.
Maybe I would pee then? Is this too much?
#Cardiovascular #Rehab #Car #Thoughts #Imagined #Treadmill #Disasters #Cold #Start #Autopian
Image Source : www.theautopian.com