Give yourself grace, be flexible: Mental health professionals share the self-care practices they swear by

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to prioritize our emotional well-being. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration estimates that 1 in 5 American adults experience mental health problems each year, meaning that even if mental health problems don’t affect you, they almost certainly affect someone you care about. The point is, we could all use a little more mental health awareness.

We often turn to mental health professionals to navigate these waters, but what do these experts do to take care of their own mental well-being? Yahoo Life spoke with therapists and psychiatrists about the mental health practices they rely on the most. This is what they shared.

Talk kindly to yourself

You’ve likely heard the suggestion to talk to yourself like you would your best friend, and according to mental health professionals, that’s advice worth following. I ask my clients to be mindful of their inner dialogues, clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly tells Yahoo Life. This practice, which is something I use in my own life, brings awareness to negative and self-defeating internal monologues. The more we become aware of any negative habit, the more we are able to change it.

This self-talk awareness can also be described as self-compassion. Let what you feel be there, without needing to criticize yourself for it. When there is anxiety, anger or insecurity, [notice] that’s there without adding an extra layer of self-loathing, shares psychiatrist Dra. Marissa Stridiron, Vice President and Chief Medical Officer of OnDemand Care at Array Behavioral Care. Everything changes too. Whether what is being experienced is pleasant or unpleasant, it will change. This is something I repeat to myself all the time.

Talking to yourself in a kind way also means not punishing yourself if you don’t achieve all of your goals for a perfect day. Self-care for me involves two things: a daily phone detox and some time for exercise or meditation. And part of self-care is being kind to yourself, even if you miss a day, clinical psychologist David Guggenheim, Talkiatry’s national director of psychotherapy, tells Yahoo Life. It can be really hard to squeeze time out of each day, so I’m kind to myself and have a lot of days that get away from me without practicing self-care.

It also means forgiving yourself for not having all the answers. I remind myself of self-care and the practice of self-compassion, says psychiatrist Dr. Leroy Arenivar, who is also Vice President and Chief Medical Officer of Array Behavioral Care. I tell myself that it’s okay not to have all the answers, or that it’s not perfect, or that it’s found.

Respect your changing needs

You could plan your ideal day to preserve your mental health, but the truth is that we need different things at different times. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to a particular challenge, and the mental health professionals Yahoo Life spoke to give themselves the flexibility to be wherever they are and to do what feels right at the time, whether it is a newspaper or sweat.

Self-healing for me is listening to my body and tuning into my emotions to discover what I need and try to honor that as best I can, says Erin Spahr, therapist, podcast host, and founder of the Inclusive Provider Directory. I am often assessing whether I need rest or play, time alone or connection with others, food or movement.

For me, self-healing feels like trying out coping skills that I’ll actually use and not judging myself for not doing it perfectly, shares Dr. Jessi Gold, director of wellness at the University of Tennessee System and author of the upcoming book. How do you feel? Sometimes that’s journaling, sometimes it’s exercise, and sometimes it’s watching stupid TV or listening to Taylor Swift’s new album.

Self-care is all about flexibility, experts say. Combining trauma-informed care with mindfulness-based practices is central to my practice with both my clients and myself, Stridiron says. What this means is finding yourself where you are and letting what you are capable of be enough.

Talk to people you love and trust

Almost all practitioners mentioned turning to those around them for support. First, I lean on my support system, shares Arenivar. Whether it’s my beloved partner or a trusted friend, having someone to talk to has always been incredibly therapeutic for me.

Gold also relies on those around her to help her when she’s feeling down. I talk to friends or family with whom I can be myself and be vulnerable with and who I don’t think always want to tell me their own stories at the same time (and let me down), she says. It can be hard as a trained listening friend to need people to listen, so it’s good to know who those friends are when you need support too.

What really makes me feel better is community: talking to my partner, meeting friends and spending time with family, adds Guggenheim. Of course, alone time is important too, but connecting with others can really help us cope with difficult experiences. Sharing what’s on my mind, even through a simple text message, can do wonders.

Manly agrees. There’s nothing like talking to a friend who knows you well and trusts you to help you through a difficult time.

When in doubt, therapy can help

I engage in therapy biweekly, because it can’t be poured from an empty cup, says Arron Muller, licensed clinical social worker and CEO of Modify Wellness. It allows me to take off my husband’s hat, my father’s hat [and] therapist hat, and I can be completely selfish and process my own thoughts and feelings. I step back from being a therapist and just be present in the moment.

If I’m going through a tough time in my personal life, I don’t hesitate to ask for support, shares Manly. I believe this practice is essential as it allows me to be fully present to my clients rather than unconsciously bringing unresolved issues into client sessions.

It’s actually a great relief to be able to sit back and let someone else handle the session, Stridiron says of turning to her own therapy. It is so important to my work as a therapist to carve out time to process my own emotions and have a space for me to exist.