The Elephant in the Therapy Room: The Conversation Continues – Mishpacha Magazine

Does a therapist’s age matter? It should frum Are young adults venturing into the field of mental health before they have life experience? Readers weigh in on Sarah Rivkah Kohns column.

Experience is not everything

Three years ago I graduated from the school of social work. I’m in my forties and I had a couple of mates my age but the rest were in their twenties.

The downside of men and women my age who go to school is that sometimes they think their life experience is everything. Our excellent teachers helped me get this idea off the ground pretty quickly. However, I will add that I do not believe that life experience is irrelevant.

I have my own practice and I am at maximum capacity. If I could clone myself, I would. I don’t think I’m doing a better job than my peers and classmates. I think I’m less afraid to take on a lot of situations because as a mother and grandmother and a former teacher, I’ve seen a lot.

I would love to encourage more men and women in their thirties, forties, fifties and sixties to go back to school. Get into a great program, don’t forget your internship, and go for it. The ok needs more of you!

Anonymous

Should we retain them?

I am a single mother who has been through therapy. I never kept this a secret from my children, and in some ways it must have inspired my seminary daughter to insist that social work be the field of choice for herself.

And yet, I know therapy well and I can’t begin to imagine who would trust someone who ages my daughters as a therapist. He is a genius. She is good and healthy and growing. i love her And yet, would I send my son to him?

Training is about 50 percent of what makes a therapist a good fit. Fifty percent is who the therapist is. While speech or physical therapy is 80 percent schooling and 20 percent skills, mental health therapies require a great deal of self-awareness. And my 18 year old will be 19 when she gets her first internship and 21 when she graduates. It’s barely the legal age to buy alcohol. Would we put our lives and the most delicate situations in the hands of someone that age? I do not know.

However, my daughter is drawn to the countryside and has to choose now that she will do it I am yirtzeh Hashem allow him to gain a Parnassus. Do I make her pursue a degree like education and keep her dream until she’s at least 30? That’s the real dilemma, and ultimately that’s what makes so many moms say they do. Not because we think it’s the best decision, but because we’re not sure it’s fair for our child to keep them.

Name withheld

The benefits of single therapists

I wanted to share an additional perspective, not as a disagreement with anything this article shared, but as the voice of many of us therapists in this category: girls, 25-30 years old, who are single and have been in the field for at least three years or more

I wonder if there is a lack of information about some of us single therapists and what we can offer in the therapeutic setting. Most of us are widely educated, probably more so than some of our married counterparts. We’ve all spent time (years) doing our own therapeutic work and are comfortable with all the things this field throws at us.

By being single and not struggling with the work-life balance of a married person with children, we can invest more in our work and therefore our supervision, training, reading and knowledge are more comprehensive, increasing the our skills We can be more present for our clients than married people, and we are more willing and open to learn from them than the know-it-all middle-aged therapist who brings her own experiences to the room

No, we do not yet have the personal experience of being married or having children. But we have a pretty deep understanding of the human condition that we all share equally, regardless of relationship status or life stage. Many of us have worked quite successfully with people who are twice their age, with people who did not see age or stage. as a barrier to their therapy.

I know there are so many great older, married, middle-aged, experienced therapists out there. I see it as an open conversation. The frum Communities relationship with mental health is changing and expanding, and I wonder if this is another piece to explore.

Anonymous

Age limitations can be overcome

I am a young single man in my twenties who is currently working as an intern at a clinic. The issues raised in this article are something I struggle with and contemplate often. I can’t speak for other budding young doctors; I can only speak for myself. Here are some points I wanted to make about the points raised in the article:

I’m not nervous at all about being in the stage of life I’m in, and I’m proud of myself for taking on that responsibility (with the yira i love this field requires). I invite prospective clients and their parents to ask me any questions about my education or training during our intake. Doctors who won’t respond with their age and other personal information likely say they feel their self-disclosure is inappropriate. The issue of self-disclosure is hotly debated, although I personally believe that this would stem from a level of insecurity, and I would invite these doctors to explore whether their own defenses are preventing them from self-disclosing, or is it really for the effectiveness of the therapy.

Regarding the effectiveness of therapy by age, I think the real problem is the lack of clinical excellence, regardless of age. I think there are many good doctors, but only a basket full of excellent ones. Younger physicians who strive for clinical excellence, pushing beyond their comfort zones, will far outperform other physicians regardless of age. Although the question of the age of the doctors affecting the effectiveness of the treatment is still up in the air, one thing is certain: if they were to track the results and the client has a better quality of life and experiences lower of distress in any aspect of your life, that’s what matters.

As for the age difference affecting the relationship, I don’t think it’s about having a doctor who has experienced similar things. It’s about the client feeling that the doctor can really put up with them and their problems.

Finally, a proper social work school that prides itself on cultivating therapeutic excellence will have a rigorous interview process that eliminates chevreh looking only to make a good Parnassus. I am personally in this field because I see it as one avodas hakodeshand if I wanted to make money (really) I’d be in real estate or nursing homes right now.

I believe that without open communication, striving for clinical excellence and active engagement in comprehensive supervision to improve skills, we can find the answers to the questions raised in the article. Thank you for making me think and for bringing these issues to the fore, spreading mental health awareness in our community.

all the best,

Name withheld

Parental experience is something

I’m a 46 year old man in social work school with men half my age, and I really respect what they’re trying to do. But from some of the questions they bring up in class or in our group supervision at the clinic, I wonder how things are going in the therapy room.

Yes, they mostly see children and teenagers, but as anyone who deals with children knows, you have two clients: the child and the parent. The horror they express at some fairly normal parenting struggles makes me wonder how much compassion they can have for these parents.

My blind spot is that I have raised children of all ages, so my view may not be as objective as it should be. No age is perfect, but I think a frame of reference helps.

A man in the school of social work

The training is too short

As a teenager, I saw a lot of therapists for various reasons. One therapist in particular, who had just returned from seminary and was in her twenties, was unable to help me because of her lack of education. While the fast-paced programs offered by the frum Schools can be a great option for many day-to-day careers, don’t take this route for more personal and complex professions such as social work, therapy or hospice work. As Ms. Kohn pointed out in her article, these issues should not be ignored. Therapy is a long and delicate journey, and without proper guidance it can cause harm.

Sincerely,

MB

(Originally appeared in Family First, Issue 892)