Are you thinking about killing yourself? do you want to die
The woman looked at me doubtfully and said: Do we have to ask?
It was near the end of a youth mental health first aid course I was co-teaching at an elementary school in Chicago, and it was time to talk about how to respond to a youth in crisis.
The security guard who posed the question had been an active participant throughout the morning, sharing information about his daily interactions with the students. But these two questions had turned this self-assured woman into an anguish. Wouldn’t talking directly about suicide put ideas into the minds of impressionable children? she asked herself.
With the suicide rate in the U.S. at an all-time high, it’s more important than ever to know how to ask kids these tough questions. According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, every 11 minutes an American commits suicide. In addition, one in five teenagers experience a major depressive episode each year.
Understanding how to get help from children is the goal of the Youth Mental Health First Aid course. Like CPR, it equips everyday people with the knowledge and skills to identify young people with mental health problems and provide them with initial support.
I have been a certified trainer for the course for almost two years and have taught the course to educators in Chicago. Regardless of the background of the attendees, they generally agree that the state of mental health of young people is dangerous.
Some have worked with children struggling with depression or substance use. Others have had first-hand experience of the impact of violence on children. A young mother came to one of my trainings even though she was trying to locate her daughter, who had left the house that morning after an argument. The woman said she decided to come still because she wanted to learn how to be a more caring parent.
Sometimes the act of helping can feel overwhelming. That’s why we spend a lot of time in the course talking about hope and recovery. This notion of healing is central to physical well-being, but is not used as much with mental health. It needs to be, however, because recovery from a mental health challenge is possible if a young person receives timely support.
They needed a few good men
One thing I’ve noticed is how few men take the course. Perhaps this shouldn’t surprise me considering I was the only male among about 30 aspiring instructors when I trained to teach the course.
I checked with mentalhealthfirstaid.org, which administers the program nationally. They confirmed that less than 20% of adults taking the first aid course identify as male, a statistic possibly explained by a shortage of men in schools and social service organizations, as well as historical stigmas related to health mental among men.
Given the social challenges facing men in the United States, higher suicide rates, more violent crimes committed, and higher rates of substance use compared to women, they need to participate in what the surgeon general has called a society-wide effort to improve the mental health of young people.
We need more boys to send a message to our boys: There is no shame in seeking help when facing a mental health challenge. Expressing emotions is not only okay, but it can be a healthy coping mechanism.
One small but impactful thing men can do is become a mentor. It sounds simple, but an important protective factor for a young person’s mental health is having a positive relationship with a trusted adult they can relate to.
Another easy and effective thing to do is to learn mental health first aid for young people. Certification trainings are typically offered at a nominal cost and require an eight-hour commitment. But during this time, we learn action steps that anyone can use to help children in crisis and non-crisis situations.
It takes a village to raise a child, the saying goes. In the case of the mental health challenge of America’s youth, even more is needed. We need all adults to recognize the signs and symptoms of young people experiencing a mental health challenge and be prepared to act.
BE St. John is a Certified Youth Mental Health First Aid Instructor and a member of the Executive Team of Communities in Chicago Schools. Go to the Mental health first aid website to find training in your community.
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